Updated: Nov 13, 2018
A relationship requires two people, two unified desires, two unified hearts, two unified commitments. Gone are the days of courting on the front porch, roses and candy on the first date. Women now meet Mr. Right now online and Netflix and Chill.
Men are treating women like convenience items instead of the queens they are, and women are allowing it. The mindset a piece of man is better than no man runs rampant among women. This mindset causes many to go above and beyond to please a man leaving common sense behind all in the name of love or simply not being alone. Beyoncé's Lemonade album became the soundtrack for relationship advice. The flip side to that coin is those women who give all of themselves to a man leaving nothing for themselves. Trying to recreate how Big Mamma took care of Granddaddy and they stayed married 55 years (little secret they didn't live their lives on social media).We as women have to learn how to prioritize ourselves, give some to ourselves.
The art of saying NO is a lost art, as women we are pre-conditioned to say YES. We have to stop allowing others to demand and expect more than they deserve or give back to us.
We have to stop empowering others to require more of us than they are willing to provide in return.
The communication door swings both ways we have to speak to be heard, you can not keep everything bottled up. When you don't effectively voice your needs you are left holding the bag and giving too much for too little.
When one person is doing all the giving in the relationship straight Mary J blige'n it, while the other is content just taking playing Kendu , there is no chance for a healthy relationship. I am not saying you must always get more than you give , I'm saying make sure you get what you give. A good, respectful, loving, if you are religious God fearing man is not too much to ask for. He will not require you to give more than he is capable of giving. I wish I could say I only dated winners, I wish my past dating life was like Cardi B's 2017. Nope! I kissed many zeros before I married my hero. The kind of man I needed and deserved just never knew it. You see I went for the bad boys, who required 150% of me and in return gave me 10% of them. My husband is gentle, yet strong, loving and patient, a God fearing man and wonderful father to our children. He helped me remember my worth by showing me my value. Knowing your value will help you end toxic giving, while breathing life into a healthy experience.
No relationship is foolproof, however as women we have to set the tone for what is expected. The more you exert your respect and commitment expectations the less room for failure you leave. When we as women allow ourselves to be drained in relationships, instead of a pleasurable exchange your partner becomes a job. I don't mean a cushy office job, I mean a 12 hour red bottom stiletto heel on the assembly line job hard for all the wrong reasons. Women we have to stop giving more than we are getting and demand our worth. Remember Always Stand In Your Truth!